As one works on oneself, one comprehends more and more the necessity of radically eliminating from one’s inner nature all that which makes us so abominable.
The worst circumstances of life, the most critical situations, and the most difficult deeds are always marvelous for intimate self-discovery.
The most secret “I’s” always surface in those unsuspected, critical moments, and when we least expect them. Unquestionably, if we are alert, we discover ourselves.
The most tranquil moments of life are precisely the least favorable for the work upon oneself.
Moments in life exist which are too complicated. In those moments we have the marked tendency of identifing easily with the events and completely forgetting about ourselves. In those instances, we do foolish things which lead nowhere. If, in those moments, we are alert, if instead of losing our minds we remember our own selves, we would discover with astonishment certain I’s of which we never had the slightest suspicion of their possible existence.
The sense of intimate self-observation is atrophied in every human being. Yet, such a sense will develop in a progressive manner by working seriously, by observing oneself from moment to moment.
As the sense of self-observation continues its development through the continuous use, we will become more and more capable of directly perceiving those I’s about which we never had any data related to their existence.
Indeed, while in the sight of the sense of inner self- observation, each of those “I’s which inhabit our interior assume this or that figure. This figure is secretly related to the defect that is personified within it. Undoubtedly, the image of each of those “I’s has a certain unmistakable psychological flavor. We, through this image, instinctively apprehend, capture, trap its inner nature, and the defect which characterizes it.
In the beginning, the esoterist does not know where to start. He feels the necessity of working on himself but is completely disoriented.
Yet, if we take advantage of the critical moments, of the more unpleasant situations, the most adverse instances, we shall then discover if we are alert, our outstanding defects, the “I’s that we must urgently disintegrate.
Sometimes one can begin with anger or pride or with the wretched second of lust, etc..
However, if we truly want a definite change, it is necessary to take note of our daily psychological states.
Before going to bed, it is wise to examine the events that occurred during the day, the embarrassing situations, the thunderous laughter of Aristophanes, or the subtle smile of Socrates.
It is possible that we may have hurt someone with a laugh, or that we caused someone to fall ill with a smile or with a look that was out of place.
Let us remember that in pure esotericism good is all that is in its place; bad is all that is out of its place.
For instance: water is good in its place, but if the water is out of place, if it floods the house, then it would cause damage; it would be bad and harmful.
Likewise, fire in the kitchen, when in its place, besides being useful, is good. Yet, the fire out of its place, burning the furniture of the living room, would be bad and harmful.
Thus, any virtue, no matter how holy it might be, is good in its place; yet, it is bad and harmful out of its place. We can harm others with our virtues. Therefore, it is indispensable to place virtues in their corresponding place.
What would you say about a priest who preaches the Word of the Lord inside a brothel? What would you say about a meek and tolerant male who blesses a gang of assailants attempting to rape his wife and daughters? What would you say about that type of tolerance taken to such an extreme? What would you say about the charitable attitude of a man who, instead of taking food home, shares his money among beggars who have a vice? What would be your opinion of a helpful man who in a given moment lends a dagger to a murderer?
Remember, dear reader, that crime also hides within the rhythm of poetry. There is much virtue in the perverse one and as much evil in the virtuous one.
Even though it may appear incredible, crime also hides in the very perfume of prayer.
Crime disguises itself as a saint. It uses the best virtues; it presents itself as a martyr and even officiates in the sacred temples.
As the sense of intimate self-observation develops in us, through its continuous use we can see all those “I’s” that serve as a basic foundation to our individual temperament, whether it be sanguine or nervous, phlegmatic or bilious.
Although you may not believe it, dear reader the fact is that behind the temperament that we possess, the most remote profundities of our psyche, the most abominable diabolic creations are hidden.
To see such creations, to observe these monstrosities of hell within which our very same consciousness is imprisoned, is only possible with the ever progressive development of the sense of intimate self-observation.
Therefore, as long as a human being has not dissolved these creations of hell, these aberrations of himself, undoubtedly in the deepest part, in the most profound part of him, he will continue being something that must not exist, a deformity an abomination.
The most critical aspect of all of this is that the abominable person does not become aware of his own abomination. He believes himself to be beautiful, just, a good person, and he even complains about the lack of comprehension of others. He laments the ingratitude of his fellowmen. He says that they do not understand him. He cries affirming that they owe him, that they have paid him back with black coins, etc.
The sense of intimate self-observation allows us to verify for ourselves, and in a direct manner, the secret work by which in a given time we are dissolving this or that “I” (this or that psychological defect), possibly discovered in difficult conditions and when we least suspect it.
Have you, sometime in your life, ever thought of what you like or dislike the most? Have you reflected on the secret causes of action? Why do you want to have a beautiful house? Why do you desire the latest model car? Why do you want to always be wearing the latest fashion? Why do you covet not being covetous? What offended you the most in a given moment?
What flattered you the most yesterday? Why do you feel superior to this or that fellow in a specific moment? At what hour did you feel superior to someone? Why do you feel conceited when you relate your triumphs? Couldn”t you keep quiet when they gossiped about someone you know? Did you receive the goblet of liquor out of courtesy? Did you accept smoking, although not having the vice, possibly because of the concept of education or out of manliness? Are you sure that you were sincere in your chatter? And when you justify yourself, when you praise yourself, when you boast about your triumphs and do so repeating what you have previously told others, do you comprehend that you are vain?
The sense of intimate self-observation, in addition to allowing you to see clearly the “I” that you are dissolving, will also allow you to see the pathetic and defined results of your internal Work.
In the beginning, these creations of hell, these psychic aberrations that unfortunately characterize you, are more ugly and monstrous than the most horrendous beasts that exist at the bottom of the oceans or in the most profound jungles of the earth. Yet, as you advance in your work, you will be able to evince through the sense of internal self-observation the outstanding fact that those abominations lose bulk; they grow smaller.
It is intriguing to know that such bestialities, as they decrease in size, as they lose bulk and become smaller, they gain in beauty; they slowly assume a childlike figure. Finally, they disintegrate; they become a cloud of cosmic dust. Then the imprisoned Essence is liberated; it is emancipated; it awakens.
Undoubtedly, the mind cannot fundamentally alter any psychological defect.
Obviously the intellect can give itself the luxury of naming a defect with this or that name, of justifying it, or passing it from one level to another, etc. But it could not by itself annihilate it, disintegrate it.
We urgently need a flaming power superior to the mind, a power that by itself is capable of reducing this or that psychological defect to a mere cloud of cosmic dust.
Fortunately, that serpentine power exists within us, that wonderful fire that the old medieval alchemists baptized with the mysterious name of Stella Maris, the Virgin of the Sea, the Azoe of Science of Hermes, the Tonantzín of Aztec Mexico, that derivation of our own being. intimate, God the Mother in our interior always symbolized with the sacred serpent of the Great Mysteries.
If after having observed and profoundly comprehended this or that psychological defect (this or that “I”), we beg our individual cosmic Mother, since each of us has his own, to disintegrate, to reduce to a cloud of cosmic dust this or that defect, that is, the “I,” the motive of our interior work, Then you can be sure that it will lose mass and it will be slowly pulverized.
All of this naturally implies successive deep works, always continuous, since no “I” can ever be disintegrated instantly. The sense of intimate self-observation will be able to see the progressive advance of the work in relation with the abomination whose disintegration truly interests us.
Although it may appear incredible, Stella Maris is the astral signature of the human sexual potency.
Obviously, Stella Maris has the effective power to disintegrate the aberrations that we carry in our psychological interior.
The decapitation of John the Baptist is something that invites us to reflect.
No radical psychological change is possible if we do not first pass through decapitation.
Our own derivative-Being, Tonantzin, Stella Maris, as an electric power, is unknown to the entire humanity. Yet, she abides latent in the depth of our psyche. Ostensibly, she enjoys the power that permits her to decapitate any “I” before its final disintegration.
Stella Maris is that philosophical fire that is found latent in all organic and inorganic matter.
Psychological impulses can provoke the intensive action of such a fire and then decapitation is made possible.
Some “I”s are usually decapitated at the beginning of the psychological Work, others in the middle and the last ones at the end. Stella Maris, as a sexual igneous power, has full consciousness of the work that must be performed. She performs the decapitation at the opportune moment, at the appropriate instant.
As long as the disintegration of all these psychological abominations, of all this lasciviousness, of all these curses: robbery, envy, secret or manifest adultery, ambition for money or psychic powers, etc. has not been produced, even when we think ourselves honorable persons, true to our word, sincere, courteous, charitable, beautiful in our interior, etc., obviously, we are nothing more than whitened sepulchers, beautiful from outside, yet full of disgusting filthiness inside.
Erudition is good for nothing: the pseudo-wisdom of the complete information on the sacred writings, whether these be from the east or the west, from the north or the south, the pseudo-occultism, the pseudo-esotericism, the absolute certainty that one is well informed, the intransigent sectarianism with complete convincing, etc. This is because, indeed, at the bottom exists what we ignore, which is, creations of hell, curses, monstrosities that hide behind the pretty face, behind the venerable countenance, underneath the most holy garb of the sacred leader, etc.
We have to be sincere with ourselves and ask ourselves what we want, if we have come to the Gnostic teaching out of mere curiosity, if in reality what we desire is not to pass through decapitation, then we are fooling ourselves; we are defending our own filthiness; we are proceeding hypocritically.
In the most venerable schools of esoteric wisdom and occultism there are many sincerely mistaken ones who really want to self-realize but who are not dedicated to the disintegration of their interior abominations.
Numerous are these people who assume that through good intentions it is possible to attain sanctity. Obviously, as long as one does not work intensely on those “I’s” that we carry within our interior, they will continue to exist beneath the depth of our godly appearance and our upright conduct.
The time has come for us to know that we are perverse ones disguised with the robe of sanctity: wolves in sheepskin, cannibals dressed in gentlemen”s clothing, executioners hidden behind the sacred sign of the cross, etc.
As majestic as we may seem inside our temples or inside our classrooms of light and harmony, as serene and sweet as we may seem to our fellowmen, as reverent and humble as we may appear, the abominations of hell and all the monstrosities of the wars continue to exist at the bottom of our psyche.
In revolutionary psychology, the necessity of a radical transformation is evident to us and this is only possible by declaring on oneself a merciless and cruel war to the death.
Indeed, all of us are worthless, each one of us is the disgrace, the abomination of the earth.
Fortunately, John the Baptist taught us the secret way: to die in oneself through psychological decapitation.
Samael Aun Weor
